grandma shit on top of the toilet
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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