We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
