I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
