I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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