I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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