Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
