Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Randomize