Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
