you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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