I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize