i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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