tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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