I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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