Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
