Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
