How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
