It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
