I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
