So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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