these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I love having hate sex.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize