12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
