I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
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allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
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Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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