Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
