it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
and she was petting her beer can
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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