Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We left an ass print on the piano.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
