how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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