Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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