You smell like a Billy Joel song
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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