I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
