Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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