I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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