id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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