Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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