meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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