I'm really into asian looking animals
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
