you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny