I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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