3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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