He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize