What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
