I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
