So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
