Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
