Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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