im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
