dude i'm inner monologue high
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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