And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
