toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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