So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
