I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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