i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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