"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
