Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
