Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
