I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
