I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
