Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
