Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
