I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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