RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
